Вот только на прошлой неделе удивлялась стучащемуся «поболтать» товарищу, удивлялась, поскольку помнила, что из одного скайпа я его удаляла до пяти раз за последние пять лет. Раз удаляла, сопровождая пространными высказываниями своего мнения, так чего стучится? Ну, я ещё раз выскажу, мне не жалко. А вообще, уже давно стёрся из памяти, и высказывания все уже несколько лет как не порождение гнева, а холодное и безразличное повторение, и повторение, и повторение — возможно, это полезный жизненный навык моей отстранённой души? Иной человек бы не повторялся, а сразу на три буквы.
Но тут вдруг — блеск надежды: неужели достучалась? Ан-нет. Старый трюк: «ах я тебе безразличен!!! Ах так!!!»
[23:14:54] Peter W: are you ever online at all?
[23:15:55] me: i'm online. just disinterested in your binges.
[23:16:13] Peter W: nah not a binge this time
[23:16:36] me: well, what have you got to say, then?
[23:16:40] Peter W: in fact stone cold sober and just staring at walls
[23:16:58] Peter W: so wait if I'm not interesting I'm of no value to you?
[23:17:48] Peter W: i was actually looking for a little warmth
[23:21:53] Peter W: dude if you have to revise over and over I don't think you mean it
[23:22:34] me: eeeeeer.... hang on, i'm not asking you to be interesting, but i am wandering, where you got the notion that you still have any value to me? you, who had numerous times been deleted from all possible places (and i've been wandering this week, exactly HOW it is you're still online and in contact) for very good reasons, all of which are all but forgotten now, including any relations we had had quite a while back now; remaining for me a small number of "hilarious stories of the drunken youth". there's such a thing as "forgive and forget" - a difficult, but gratifying number.
[23:23:08] Peter W: ok so I have no value to you
[23:23:20] Peter W: sorry my misconception
[23:25:22] me: i think i had been rather plain on many an occasion as to what i think of your lifestyle and personal outlook, especially in terms of other people. it seems, you had completely ignored it, thinking it was a gesture of endearment?
[23:26:13] Peter W: no I just thought maybe you were human oscilating between discipline and some small need for real connection. Ok ego trip over
[23:27:05] me: sure, i have plenty of lovely connections. some of them even real. this one has been over for at least 3-4 years.
Peter W обиделся и ушёл в оффлайн.